Rant of the Week

Hallelujah

 

Hallelujah

Some thoughts on the Leonard Cohen song, "Hallelujah".

I think it should be sung at weddings, but I'm sure many would disagree. So maybe it should be sung at divorces, but what we need is a corresponding sacrament to go with the divorce. The couple marches into church from different directions at different times and meets at the front. Then they say, "I don't", and smash wedding cake into each other's face. The guests take sides and a food fight breaks out. Everything in the church is destroyed and then the lawyers come in and present their bills. Counselors descend upon all concerned and advise them to take off their clothes, writhe on the floor, and make various gestures of affirmation and support for their preferred un-partner. Lastly, the florist comes in and heaves a gigantic bouquet upon the bride. While she's is pinned to the floor, kicking her feet into the air, the groom slides a garter up her leg and the best man steals her ring.  Then a dwarf in a top coat and a tutu sings Hallelujah, and all the guests race over to the couples' house and take back their gifts.

Copyright © 2001 Bill Van Dyk  All rights reserved.

 

 

All Contents Copyright © Bill Van Dyk
 2001 All Rights Reserved