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The answer is
here. We would invent, design, manufacture,
and service talking toilets.
You may
scoff. Well, maybe you won’t. Maybe you already have one of those toilets that
sprays your butt with soap and warm water after you’ve relieved yourself, and plays
soft music, and warms up the bathroom for you. But
if you don’t, let the excitement build.
Japanese companies
lead the way, as they did with transistor radios and VCRs.
Toto is one the leading manufacturers in Japan (60% of the domestic market) and
brags about a toilet that is responsive to voice commands.
What exactly would you like to command your toilet to do? Open the lid.
Spray hotter water and more soap. Massage
your butt. You name it.
Oh but wait. Is that all you imagine a 21st century
toilet can do? You don’t think big
enough! The 21st century toilet
samples your urine, your weight, and your blood pressure, and sends it’s findings off
to your doctor via the Internet! Yes, we
finally have the ultimate browser, and it aint Internet Explorer, and that aint the
ESPN website.
So the next time
you get depressed thinking about the limitations of human endeavor, and the failure of
our culture to reach greater heights of enlightened reflection, consider the toilet
browser and rejoice in the infinite potential of human aspirations.
And
don’t forget to wipe.
