Rant of the Week

Matrix of Pompous Portentousness

The danger, they say, is when you believe your own press. With the extravagantly lavish praise heaped upon the first Matrix, it was perhaps inevitable that the Wachowski Brothers would start to believe they really were as deep and important as the average 14-year-old thinks he is.

The fun is off the Matrix. And it didn't last very long. The first Matrix already displayed an unfortunate tendency towards ritualistic festishistic worship of dry straight faces and black robes and leather and posture.

This is a church that believes in its own rituals-- always a pathetic development, but made moreso by the frenzied extravagance of these rituals.

And, as is the case frequently in these type of "heroic" films-- the behavior of the "good" guys is just about as repugnant, fascistic, and oppressive as the "bad" guys.

Every ship has been home more often than the Nebuchanezzar. How damn bloody seriously heroic of you. And why is Zion such an ugly, dismal place if this is supposed to be where the people with passion for life live?

There's no poetry in this story. Morpheus rallies the Zionites like a varsity football coach rallying the freshmen.

The romance between Trinity and Neo-- oh my! You! No, you! No, you! Their love-making echoes the orgiastic dance in the cave, but it's a rather conventional approach for the messiah: missionary position. Trinity, when she speaks to Neo, sounds a lot like mommy. "It's okay, you can tell me. Don't be afraid." He's the messiah, but mommy is trying to persuade him to confide his prissy little secrets with her. "The one" is a self-pitying narcissist.

There are good reasons why, in real life, our society never allows lovers or married couples to work together as cops or soldiers. Matrix Reloaded is a good illustration of why. Among other things, there is a great danger that co-workers will become nauseous.

The dialogue is very lame.

Morpheus: "Good night, Zion."

Counselor: "It's nice tonight."

Counselor: "But it makes me wonder-- just what is control?"

The fight between Neo and the guide, the man who "protects that which matters most" who leads him to the Oracle, is inexcusably coy-- he "had to be sure" that he really was the chosen one, by doing a little kung fu, here? Really? Or just a clumsy plot device. Not just an excuse for a little action instead of exposition here?

The visit to the key-maker, which reminds me of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail sequence with the French knight hurtling insults from the castle wall-- was intriguing. The Merovingian is difficult and uncooperative, and utters one of the movies' few memorable lines (about swearing in French), and you keep waiting for Neo to grab the The Merovingian and start beating it out of him, but instead they get into the elevator and leave. Then Persephone (Monica Belucci) invites them to come see the key-maker, while The Merovingian is in the women's washroom getting lipstick on his ....

Trinity tidily closes her eyes when she dies-- this movie is aimed at kids.