Rant of the Week

Medical Certainty

British Drug regulators just announced that doctors must stop writing prescriptions for an entire generation of anti-depressant drugs for depressed children under 18.

After reviewing 11 different studies of the effects of these drugs, including Paxil, Zoloft, and others, on children under 18, they came to the conclusion that the risk of harm outweighed the potential benefits.

According to Mother Jones, more than 50% of the studies performed on these drugs have shown that they have no greater beneficial effect on people than placebos do.

But it's hard to convince a doctor with scientific evidence. I'm only kidding. No, I'm not. Dr. Flemming Graae of Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla, N.Y., says he has treated more than 2,000 children with S.S.R.I.'s. (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) and, he says, not a single one of them tried to commit suicide because of the drugs.

That's a really strange statement to make. Didn't any of the 2,000 ever try to commit suicide? If not, that's remarkable.

The Heritage Foundation reports that about 14% of all sexually active teenage girls and 5% of all the others attempt suicide. Just about every other study reports that some teenagers try to commit suicide.

These are truly wonder drugs if the results are that good. Or Dr. Graae's statistics are wonderfully contrived.

Of course, the Heritage Foundation is trying to prove to you that girls that have sex are unhappy, miserable, and suicidal, while girls who don't have sex are contented, smart, and rich. So don't have sex. Or learn to do unbiased studies. The Heritage Foundation thinks you are still gaining weight because you don't eat enough diet cookies.

I suspect that doctors are willing to defend S.S.R.I.'s because they give them something to give people who are desperately desperate. Since you can't give them a happy life with healthy peer relationships and a morally satisfying profession, you give them a pill.