Ann Coulter, bless her little heart, doesn't want you to buy into a
false patriotism.
You might be confused, you see. You might look at two men who are
now fixed beside each other in the public mind-- the two likely candidates for President
of the United States-- and you might sort of realize that one of them has actually served
in war, and the other sends other young men to do the fighting, while giving the richest
citizens of the United States of America a big fat pass on paying the costs of this war.
Well, look at him. Bush has the face of a pretty little frat boy
who might have pulled a few strings to make sure he didn't get sent into any danger over
there in Viet Nam. John Kerry looks like Herman Munster. But he also looks
like someone who has paid some dues.
It's not a political thing. John McCain has obviously paid some
dues. Clinton didn't look like he paid any dues (but he was a pretty effective
president). Bush Sr. paid dues. Reagan didn't. Check out the
chicken-hawks.
But Ann Coulter is concerned lest you actually think that a man who
served in the air National Guard and probably had daddy pull strings to get him there so
he never had to face enemy fire is somehow less courageous and heroic than someone who
actually went to war for his country. This is the remarkable
topsy-turvy world of
Republican blonde bimbo columnists: Of course he is less courageous and
heroic. Even a rational Republican should be able to admit that a man who
actually served in war time has made a slightly greater sacrifice than someone who joined
the weekend frolics of the Texas Air National Guard?
You might not like Kerry's politics, but don't be silly about the
military record.
The only thing that is baffling to me is why the Republicans are missing
a rather wonderful opportunity to show that they can occasionally rise above petty,
vindictive, party politics and do something with class. Why not acknowledge Kerry's
honorable service? Why not praise him?
Instead, we have Ann Coulter actually trying to make it sound like
George Bush wanted to serve in Viet Nam, but the war, unfortunately, ended before
he could finish his National Guard duties. Ann-- duh!-- he was in the National Guard
precisely so he could avoid Viet Nam. Hello!
And then, from the scurrilous, to the despicable:
Ann Coulter says, of Max Cleland:
Indeed, if Cleland had dropped a grenade on himself at Fort Dix
rather than in Vietnam, he would never have been a U.S. senator in the first place.
That's pretty shameless. Max Cleland,
unlike George Bush, went to Viet Nam to serve his country honorably.
One day he picked up a grenade that he saw lying in the ground below a
helicopter from which he had just disembarked. He thought it was his, and had fallen
from his belt, and was therefore safe. It turned out to have belonged to someone
else, and it was alive, and it blew up in his hands. He lost both arms and a leg.
Wow! Talk about hardball. All you can do is look at Ms.
Coulter with astonishment, and wonder if the Democrats have the testicles to go up against
people with such piercing, stiletto wits. Imagine that-- attacking the war record of
a paraplegic!
Will any patriotic Republicans have the character, courage, or integrity
to stand up to Ann Coulter and put her in her place? (Ha ha.) She is
attacking a war hero! She is dishonoring a veteran! Not
bloody
likely, of course, since most Republican leaders never served in any wars, and therefore
don't feel any real sense of obligation to those who did.
Those who did-- like John McCain and Chuck Hagel-- have, in fact, made
known their distaste for those who attack the patriotism of war veterans who happen to be
political opponents.
And shouldn't Ms. Coulter leave it to a few veterans to take up the
issue of Max Cleland's fitness for office, seeing as, obviously-- I mean, as obvious as
anything has ever been obvious-- Ann Coulter never served and never will serve in any kind
of military?
But then, Ann Coulter is a puff of air anyway, a blonde bimbo recruited
by Republican fund-raisers to counter-act the image of the party as an old white boy's
club. See? It's hip to be vindictive and scabrous.
I doubt we'll soon see a Tom Delay talking action figure in a
mini-skirt.
Copyright © 2004 Bill Van Dyk All rights
reserved.
