Some thoughts on the Leonard Cohen song, “Hallelujah”.
I think it should be sung at weddings,
but I’m sure many would disagree.
So maybe it should be sung
at divorces,
but what we need
is a corresponding sacrament to go with the divorce.
The couple marches into church from different directions
at different times
and meets at the front. Then they say, “I don’t”,
and smash wedding cake into each other’s face.
The guests take sides
and a food fight breaks out.
Everything in the church
is destroyed
and then the lawyers come in and present their bills. Counselors descend
upon all concerned
and advise them
to take off their clothes,
writhe on the floor, and make various gestures of affirmation and support for their preferred un-partner. Lastly, the florist
comes in
and heaves
a gigantic
bouquet upon the bride. While she’s is pinned to the floor,
kicking her feet into the air,
the groom slides a garter up her leg and the best man steals her ring. Then a dwarf in a top coat and a tutu
sings Hallelujah,
and all the guests sing Hallelujah
race over to the couples’ house
and sing Hallelujah
and take back their gifts.