The Elusive Joy of Apocalypse

“The crowd, too, seemed electrified in a way I had not seen for years. The lifting up of the martyr, the processing of her death into rage, the processing, through Trump, of the rage into joy — the old alchemy was working again.” NY Times

I don’t think I personally give enough credit to the “joy” aspect of finding out that your worst fantasies about global conspiracies (the Democrats, the Ukrainians, the French, the Pope, the sex traffickers, the Fairies & Orcs, Mike Pence– whomever) are likely true, and that a savior– with his own custom leather-bound bible to offer– is bravely defying the courts and politicians and judges (even the ones he appointed) who are out there serving the interests of the international pedophile conspiracy by bringing him down. The swagger, the mocking, the insults (even of Jimmy Carter as he mourned the death of his wife), seem tasteful to you, hallmarks of virtue and moral courage and dignity. Surely he would have served in the military had he had the opportunity– okay, maybe he did dodge it– and surely some of those wounded veterans like John McCain deserved mockery, but he is sure to restore military spending to its normal level of ten times what everyone else in the world is spending combined, and he will stop crime, invent manufacturing, prove that all the world’s climate scientists are liars, put Stormy Daniels back in her place, pay the money he owes the National Enquirer, eliminate the deficit by cutting taxes (after increasing it massively his first term), stop abortion (unless the polling shows it’s a loser of an issue), cure cancer, and maybe actually go to church some days. Whatever he says, even if it’s the opposite of what he said yesterday or the day before that, or tomorrow, believe it, deliriously. You know in your heart that to do otherwise will bring not a rational, creaky, imperfect but functioning state; no, it will bring the apocalypse.

The Cost of a Year at New York University

The estimated total cost of attendance for an on- or off-campus student attending N.Y.U. over the 2022-23 school year is $83,250.

From Here.

This cost is baffling to me.  How can it cost a single student what a single professor makes in a year?  And what do they mean “on or off” campus?  Surely, room and board is a big chunk that can’t be “on or off”?

Let’s imagine a university that awards degrees in History, English, Sociology, Psychology, Art, Music, Business, and Economics.  Let’s imagine it has 1,000 students.  Let’s call it Jester College.

In my imaginary university, let’s have 20 professors.  I know, I know– there would be many different professors for different specialties at a real university.  Bear with me for a moment.

The 20 professors each earn $100 K.  Not extravagant but not unbearable.  So our annual budget for salaries is $2 million.   Let’s say each of them has to work really hard and teach three classes.   That’s 60 classes of an average of 17 students each.

The cost per student for salaries would be about $2000.  Of course, that doesn’t include the cost of administration or rent or utilities or mascots.

Of course, that’s a silly amount.  The buildings would cost a lot and we have a president and a dean and so on.   But the cost of the essential service of a university is $2,000.

Let’s say Jester University acquires some land for $6 million and builds dorms at about $60 K per unit for about 600 of the students.   Thirty-six million dollars.   Of course, the money is borrowed, so let’s allocate $162,000 a month or $1.9 million a year for the dorms and roughly $1 million for the land.

We still have students paying $4,000 a month to cover the cost of land, dorms, and professors.  The classroom buildings will cost quite a bit less than the 600 units of the dorms.   You need a gym and a library.

It’s all crazy of course.  I’m just trying to imagine some genius entrepreneur coming along and looking at the costs of university education and deciding he could make a lot of money by offering the same basic service for a lot less than $82K.

All you need is a qualified professor, a class-room for each session of each class, a dorm for students to live in, and a few other ancillary items for education to take place.  The students go to class, listen to the professor, go to their dorm rooms and study and go into town for a beer or pizza or hang out at the gym or the library.

Jester U.  doesn’t offer chemistry or biological science because it’s too expensive to build the labs.  You can go to New York University instead and pay $83K for the privilege.  But a lot of academia consists of reading and writing and studying and testing and that can all be done a lot more cheaply than $82K.

Why doesn’t someone do it?

Because students are generally unsophisticated and willing to take out gargantuan loans to pay what Universities demand, the Universities’ demands are based on costs that have very little to do with providing the essential service that students used to go to Universities to receive.

Let’s say that those 1,000 students each pay $10K in tuition, room, and board, per year.  That gives us an annual budget of $10 million.   How does this get to $82 million for New York University?

Go ahead and get a lab and lots of other stuff.  Let’s double it: now you have $20K.

I know: this is ridiculous.  I’m sure there are other expenses I am not accounting for.  But I’m also sure that a lot of those expenses aren’t really necessary or essential or important.  They are part of the established bureaucratic structure of post-secondary education in 2023, and very, very hard to dislodge.  You have deans and financial officers and accountants and secretaries and clerks and heads of departments and so on.

I would suggest you could jettison a lot of them and still provide a solid post-graduate degree to most students.

On the Cost of Textbooks

More news on the cost of college & university.