Life gets more and more like Dr. Strangelove, the movie.
Read About Your New Well-Armed Coast Guard Here.
The U.S. Coast Guard now, having carefully and rationally considered the threat of Al Qaeda storming Duluth from across Lake Superior, are going to arm their cutters with 7.62 mm machine guns capable of firing up to 600 rounds per minute.
Yes, the U.S. Coast Guard, having carefully and thoughtfully considered the threat of Al Qaeda infiltrating Port Burwell and Port Dover, Ontario, Canada, and hijacking high-speed fiberglass sail boats or diesel powered fishing vessels, or a kayak, and stealthily crossing the deceptively placid waters of Lake Erie, to launch a major anthrax or fertilizer assault on Erie or Toledo…. we will not let it happen!
The U.S. Coast Guard, armed, and tested, and resolute, and disciplined, will stand up with courage and determination, and give their lives, if necessary, to stop them… God bless you, U.S. Coast Guard.
I’ll bet you think I’m joking. Or maybe you think, well, doesn’t seem likely, but I’ll bet the Department of Homeland Security knows a lot more than I do about the threat from Al Qaeda and about exactly how rigid those screening programs for refugees coming to in Canada. My God! It’s another 9/11 just waiting to happen.
Or maybe not. Maybe you will vote for someone else in five weeks or so.