Twas the night before the deadline, when all through Leaf Nation
All the fans twisted knuckles in sheer consternation
Free agents were signed, all the rookies were hazed
In hopes that Lord Stanley’s lips would be grazed
The pundits all snuggled close to their mikes
With visions of headlines and thousands of “likes”
And Dubas in his glasses, and Babcock with his grin
Were sure that Nylander soon would be in
When on TSN there arose such a clatter
I turned up the volume to hear of the matter
And tapped on my phone, and opened Explorer
To hear if negotiations finally were over
The moon over Scotia Bank Rink looked morose
For it seems that no deal was even that close
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Matthews returning to bring us some cheer,
On a line with Johnsson and Kapanen too
Circling and zipping like a tap dancer’s shoe
More rapid than eagles the Leaf skaters came
While Babcock whistled and hollered and called them by name
“Go Kadri, go Ennis, go Matthews, and Leivo,
Go Marner, Tavares, go Reilly and Marleau!
Go deep past the blueline, but keep it onside
Skate hard and push Norton and Karlsson aside!”
As dry leaves that before the hurricane fly,
When they meet with obstacles, never were shy.
So the Leafs kept on playing, and doing so well,
Hadn’t even missed Matthews– they really played swell,
Reilly almost led the league in assists,
While Anderson stopped the pucks with his fist
Oh maybe Gardiner was a little polite
But Dermott was solid and Hainsey was bright,
Still all were concerned– would Nylander sign?
Or would Gauthier continue to play the fourth line?
As I clicked the remote, it was now time for bed,
Down the chimney a puck came and dented my head,
And the door opened wide, and who should appear?
But William Nylander, holding a beer.
He was dressed all in fur, from his foot to his hat,
He was wearing the grin of an old cheshire cat,
He said, “it’s been 50 years since the Leafs won the cup,
Do you think Kyle Dubas will ever give up?
He’ll sign me I know, for seven million or more,
‘Cause he knows if he don’t, the fans will be sore.
They’ve been waiting so long, for the cup of Lord Stanley
That letting me go would never be manly.”
“But Willy,” I said, my hopes seeping away,
“The salary cap means that you’ll never stay.
They got Matthews and Marner, Tavares and Ennis,
They don’t really need you, they need more defense”.
He smiled with a c-note stuck in his teeth,
While more cash circled his head like a wreath,
He carried offers from Buffalo, Detroit, and LA,
And laughed at the bundles that were coming his way,
He spoke no more words but lay down for a nap,
“They need me to move past the Bruins and the Caps.”
Then he closed his eyes and gave me a whistle,
And stroked both his whiskers– which were more like gristle.
Oh I thought of George Armstrong, and Keon, and Baun,
For die-hard Leaf fans, it’s been far too long,
Do you remember that Cup? Are those fans still living?
If only Nylander and his agent were giving!
At long last there’s hope, this team might just find,
A Stanley Cup win– if Nylander signed!