Avast, Ye Scurvy Software Swabs!

Have you ever considered the fact that the BEST thing that ever happened to Microsoft was software piracy?

Forget about today. Today, everyone buys Windows whether they want to or not, because, first of all, you usually have no choice, and, secondly, all of the software you want to use is written for Windows.

Let’s go back to 1985, before MS-DOS and Windows were dominant. The point of critical mass for the computer industry. Large numbers of people were buying a personal computer for the first time. These people were very, very important. These people were on the cutting edge. They were smart and willing to learn new things when most other people were content to keep using whatever it was they had been using before computers even existed.  When corporations, schools, and institutions bought computers in a big way a few years later, these people decided which computers and operating systems they bought.

So, it’s 1985. You are shopping for a computer. Some of your friends already have computers. You look at an IBM clone for $2500.00. You look at an Apple MacIntosh for $3000.00. You know the Apple is a better computer– that’s no secret. But the biggest factor is money. Okay, but you own a Toyota: you’re willing to pay a bit more for quality. Okay– it’s the Apple.

Wait a minute! Once you get your computer, what are you going to run on it? Well, you’ll need a word processor. Actually, you lust for a word processor. You check the prices: Word for the MacIntosh is $450.00. Word Perfect for DOS is $450.00. What about a spreadsheet? Lotus 1-2-3 for $565.00, or Excel for about the same price for Apple. Graphics? Accounting? Games? Music? Are you ready to spend $5000.00 for enough software to really go to town with your machine?

Are you nuts?

But, hey, Bob, your accountant friend, has a copy of Lotus, and he also has a little application that removes the copy protection from the disks. Same for Word Perfect– which is about to drop copy protection anyway. And you know someone else with a copy of Flight Simulator. Hey, now we’re in business! How about ACC/PAC? Newsviews? ProComm? Now we’re cooking. But these are all DOS applications. You don’t know anybody with MacIntosh software for obvious reasons, not the least of which is this: the MacIntosh is much more difficult to hack.  Why?  Because it is a better computer and because Apple maintained tight control over how software is written for it.  That’s why there are few bugs.  That’s why it runs better.  But that’s also why it’s much hard to copy their software.

So, the IBM clone, of course. You get your pirated copy of Word Perfect 4.2 and love it.

Next year, your company buys computers. Do you want to retrain yourself in Word for the MacIntosh? Are you crazy? So you recommend IBM computers, or compatibles, and your company buys lots of licensed copies of Word Perfect, fearful of avenging squads of Software Police.

Why are pirated copies of DOS applications freely available? Because Apple uses proprietary hardware and software on its systems. You can’t buy an Apple clone and hack into it. If you want an Apple, you have to buy an Apple. But hackers and pirates are not big spenders. They buy the cheapest clones they can get. They take their computers apart (something Apple discouraged, with it’s sealed case and integrated monitor) and hack and pirate away. And because of the plentiful IBM clones there also plentiful IBM clone accessories, add-in cards, peripherals. At another critical moment, colour monitors became cheaply available for IBM clones while MacIntosh, inexplicably, stayed wedded to their tiny little black and white integrated screen.

Piracy was the best thing that ever happened to Microsoft.

Imagine for a moment that there had been no piracy. Imagine that Mr. Computer Buyer, above, knew that he would have to pay for every piece of software he acquired for his computer. Imagine.

I imagine he probably would have bought the computer he thought was the best. He would have acquired the best software for the money. And a lot of people would have chosen a MacIntosh instead of an IBM clone.

Sure, a lot of people would have bought the cheapest hardware out there regardless of quality. But at the moment of critical mass, a very large number of people would have bought the better product, the same way that large numbers of people started buying Toyotas and Hondas instead of Cavaliers and Escorts, even though they cost more.

So Apple died the death of a thousand cuts.

Well, Apple is trying to make a comeback with its new Imac. Is it too late? It is a tribute to the bitter disappointment many influential computer people feel about the Microsoft product that Apple even has a chance. In fact, never in history has such a bad product, Windows, been so successful in the marketplace.

Back in 1985, I owned an Apple IIc. It wasn’t much by today’s standards, but it did one thing that Microsoft Windows still isn’t able to do: it ran reliably. Every night, I turned it on and went to work. I wrote and calculated and listed and printed and compiled and researched and edited and drew and composed… I worked. It worked. It was great. I had Appleworks, which combined a spreadsheet, word processor, and flat-file data base. It ran great and I loved it. I installed it once. Once.

Then I got myself an IBM XT clone. For the next year, I spent most of my time trying to figure out to get the damn thing to run decently. Word Perfect was nice, but there was no DOS version of Appleworks, so I lost my data bases and spread sheets. Lotus was powerful, but I didn’t need macros: I needed to be able to switch efficiently from one application to another. The IBM clone couldn’t do that at all for another five years, and couldn’t do it reliably for another ten. So what did I trade my precious IIc for, really?

Fonts.

Yes, fonts. That’s about it. The main advantage of the IBM clone was… fonts.

What do I spend most of my time doing with my mighty Pentium 133 with 6.5 GIG hard drive, 64 Megabytes of RAM, 32 voice digital music card, laser printer, SCSI drive, ATI Rage graphics adapter? Configuring. Fixing. Reinstalling. Debugging. Patching. Figuring out.  And doing the same work over and over again because the damn thing crashed while the file was still open.

This year alone, I have had to erase everything on my hard drive and reinstall everything from scratch three times. This takes hours and hours and hours. And then it takes weeks to get the system tweaked back to a level of usefulness. By that time, your fresh install of Windows is back to its old tricks: locking up, freezing, slowing to a kludge.

This is insane.

The Tears of a Clone

You may have heard that a Richard Seed, a scientist in Chicago, has announced that he is going to proceed with human cloning experiments, in spite of President Clinton’s request for a voluntary ban on such experiments for five years. Then it was announced that two labs, one in the U.S. and one in Bath, England, have succeeded in cloning headless mice and tadpoles.

Charles Krauthammer, in Time Magazine, reacts with horror. Please, oh please don’t create headless humans. He feels it should be a capital crime. “Cloning is the technology of narcissism”.

Well, I didn’t know narcissism was a crime. But I do know we don’t have room in all the prisons in the world for the guilty. And I know that Krauthammer is a raving hypocrite. We have spent 200 years building the culture of narcissism and Time Magazine has been it’s biggest cheerleader. Suddenly Frankenstein gets up and walks, and Time goes “eek”. Where was Time Magazine’s righteous indignation when we dropped nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

There is one major problem with stopping scientific experiments on human clones. We don’t have the intellectual, moral, or cultural framework left to support the idea. Our boldest thinkers have killed God, the thoughtless middle class has locked him into a charming little box in a tiny little corner of Sunday, and most of our religious “leaders” are too busy building crystal cathedrals and erecting statues of themselves to do anything more than rant about high school sex education and pornography on the Internet. And now science has gone pornographic and nobody is ready to grapple with the complex scientific and moral issues that arise from it.

The problem is that the idea of free enterprise, or allowing the “market” to determine the success, failure, or acceptability of different technological inventions or ideas, has come to dominate not only our society’s economics and corporate management and even government, but our culture as well. And the fundamental philosophical belief that makes free enterprise possible is individualism. If you ask yourself, who should have ultimate authority to determine whether or not you can buy something, read a book, listen to music, watch a video, or wear your seatbelt—the answer is always “me”. We don’t want the government, the church, the union, or the corporation to have that authority. We want it all for ourselves. And if we want to make brain-less clones to provide us with an unlimited future supply of transplantable organs, who has the right to stop us?

Let’s say the government does pass a law—as seems likely—banning the creation of human clones. First of all, some big corporation (or maybe a bold, little corporation) is going to go ahead and do it anyway and then challenge the law in court. Try to imagine the Supreme Court’s ruling on the issue. What are the grounds they will give for supporting the law? As long as the clones don’t have a brain, they won’t be human, because our courts and legislatures have steadily shrunk the definition of “human” in order to accommodate all the other scientific developments of this century, including artificial respirators that can keep brain-dead humans “alive” indefinitely, artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization, and, of course, abortion. Would you want to argue that cloning violates some universal concept of human dignity? The courts have ruled over and over again that such concepts are religious in nature and thus discriminatory.

Even if the Supreme Court in the U.S. supported the law, scientists would simply move off-shore to some obliging little island nation and proceed with impunity. Does anyone doubt that there’s money to be made in this business, regardless of any national laws?

So there will be no law. We will clone humans because we can clone humans. We have a new Pandora’s box before us and we will open it because we have already opened every other Pandora’s box and nobody knows any more how to even conceive of an idea of a rationale for keeping it closed.

What are we going to do with all these new powers? We’re going to live longer. We’re going to automate everything. We’re going to have all the information in the world at our finger-tips. We’re going to become more and more self-sufficient and self-contained. We’re going to be completely selective about what we do, who we see, what we know about, where we go, what we believe. Can government survive these developments? Can the church? Can the family? In Sweden, already, almost half the population lives alone. In the future, all of us may have two, three, or four different families in our lifetimes, and then, for the last decades of our lives, we will live alone, because the ultimate convenience is to be completely self-sufficient.

No civilization in history has been faced with so many issues that confront the question of what being human really means. The Middle Ages believed that man was a worm riding on the waves of a colossal tempest, whose only dignity was the possibility of redemption by an all-powerful god. The Renaissance gave man faith in himself, as “the measure of all things”. The late 19th Century gave rise to a prevailing belief in human progress—both moral and material. The sinking of the Titanic was a little blip on the radar screen of the horizon of human potential; the two World Wars—including the holocaust and Hiroshima—were major blips. But we continued our race to the future. To the average citizen, the 1949 World’s fair, with its displays on the wonders of technology, had more impact than the ruminations of Jean-Paul Sartre on absurdity. Now, with the collapse of communism and world peace, for the first time, within our grasp, we seem to stand on the brink of unimaginable wealth and progress. The computer and the Internet have become the poster boys of this brave new world, and DNA manipulation may be the crown jewel. But all of these developments have created a profound spiritual unease.

What if we are soon able to live to 100? 120? 150? Can a marriage last 100 years? I don’t think so. Think about it: our notions of fidelity and commitment were forged in an era in which the average life-span was less than 40 years. People married young, so the average marriage lasted about 25 years. Is the rise in the divorce rate merely a reflection of the fact that people can live together for only so long? The Bible is emphatic about divorce—it is wrong. But life expectancy in 30 A.D. was even shorter than it was in the 19th century, and the status of women was equal to livestock. Can such an imperative survive today’s social climate?

And what will we think about as we replace our burned out organs and continue to grow older? Will we grow wise and begin to understand that there are moral satisfactions that can’t be bought or manufactured? Or will we grow foolish and increasingly desperate, and resort to drugs and cosmetic surgeries and ever greater obscenities in order to recapture the shallow illusions about the satisfactions of youth and vigor and sexual appeal?