Community Property

Conventional wisdom rules: if a woman marries a man who gets rich and then they divorce, the court will act as if she earned half of all their property herself, even if all she did was sit at home and watch tv, eat, and shop.

That’s not the image they use to sell it to you though– that image is the hard-working, loyal, dedicated mom, producing children, raising them, changing their diapers, attending parent-teacher interviews, while that cad of a husband goes gallivanting around having sex with other women. Tiger Woods.

There is a portion of this kind of judgment that is not really based on any sound principle of justice, but on the repugnance some people feel for fornicators and adulterers. So she takes him “to the cleaners”. Even though this is established practice, feminists would like to have you believe that women still get ripped off in this arrangement. They are not embarrassed by the fact that he, through dedication, ingenuity, determination, and sacrifice, was able to command a good income.

On the other hand, more likely he got hired by someone he knew, and promoted because he was white and congenial and a good drinking buddy.

Let’s also consider just how stupid a man like Tiger Woods is to marry anybody. Why oh why oh why, if he wants to have sex with many different women, would he bother to marry any of them?

Never mind.

[2011-07]

Standard of Living

So you have this athlete.

He’s born with a gift: he can hit baseballs really, really well, and he can run and jump and catch. And when he gets to be about 18, he is descended upon by agents, lawyers, scouts, recruiters, and everyone imaginable– who might want one of the golden eggs.

And he signs a contract and buys his mother a Buick and takes his friends out to party does some drugs and hires a couple of body guards. And the babes flow like ripened orchids spraying down a verdant valley…

Who knows why he chose Lisa. He saw her at a Lakers’ game. They met. They did who knows what. Somehow she, alone of all the babes, persuaded him to make a commitment, though anyone who knows anything about professional athletes and money and waste can hardly conceive of the phrase in such a context. But that’s what they say, made a commitment.

They marry. Where does she come from? Nowhere, really. She’s not an athlete. She’s not rich. She’s not the daughter of the head of a multi-billion dollar corporation. She is Lisa Strawberry and that’s enough, thank you.

And we know about Darryl. In one of the Simpsons’ most prescient episodes, Mr. Burns hires bunch of professional ball players to be ringers on the plant team so he can beat a hated rival. As “Darryl Strawberry” stands in the outfield, the crowd, as they did in real life, mockingly chants “Dar—-ryl, Dar—ryl”. Bart joins in. Lisa says, Bart, it’s not nice to make fun of a ball-player and Bart replies that professional athletes are used to it, it’s no big deal. And then a close-up of Darryl Strawberry’s face as a big, fat tear drops from his eye.

From the news:

To back up her petition of $50,000 per month in spousal support, which was granted, Lisa filed papers with the Superior Court of California saying that she had been spending $20,000 a month for clothes, $5,000 a month for shoes and an average of $7,000 for each purchase of jewelry, “which I have been free to indulge myself in as desired.”

“How am I the culprit?” she asks at breakfast. “They wanted to know what was my standard of living. And that’s what it was.”

Well, if she doesn’t get it, we know where it’s going to go instead. Strawberry was arrested last year for trying to buy drugs and propositioning an undercover police officer. Is Lisa’s $20,000 a month on clothes different, really? He’s addicted to cocaine, she’s addicted to clothes. He’s a fool and she’s an idiot. They deserve each other.

The judge should order them to remain married for as long as they both are fools.