Tag: FBI

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Burt, Rock, J. Edgar, and 250 Marines

In the 1960’s, I watched a television show on Sunday nights called “The FBI”. This show, every episode of which was approved to the smallest detail by actual FBI agents, showed how these clever FBI agents tracked down and arrested inter-state kidnappers, smugglers, murderers, and bank robbers. We were supposed to be thrilled to see these re-enactments of cases from “actual” FBI files.

The producers of this program did a great disservice to the American public when they left out some of the more colorful and exciting episodes of FBI astuteness. Like when they tapped Martin Luther King Jr.’s phones. Or when they tried to harass John Lennon into leaving the country. And how come we didn’t get to spend an evening with J. Edgar Hoover and his life-long male “companion”? And what about an episode on how Burt Lancaster single-handedly threatened the stability and integrity of the U.S. government?

Burt Lancaster? Well, yes. It seems that FBI kept a close eye on this reputed saboteur and Soviet plant. Seems that Mr. Lancaster was a tad on the liberal side, you see. The FBI, ever vigilant, ensured that Burt never got the chance to undermine the U.S. government, by, say, spying on conservative citizens or harassing pro-war activists.

Mr. Hoover felt that Mr. Lancaster’s passionate embrace of Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity– the famous scene in the rolling surf– was obscene and lewd. He watched it hundreds of times just be sure he didn’t miss any part of the alleged lewdness. He had FBI agents demand out-takes from the movie studio to study the issue in greater detail. [Added 2011-03: I am not making this up.]

Yes, this man was paid with your tax dollars.

Incidentally, the FBI claimed, in a report, that Lancaster had taken part in a homosexual orgy with Rock Hudson and 250 U.S. marines. I am not making this up. It is in the Toronto Star, March 12, 2000.

What I’m curious about is how they– Burt and Rock, I mean– found 250 marines. I mean I know it’s almost unbelievable, but this is a report from the FBI, the most renowned police organization in the world! So, if they say it’s true, it must be. But how did Burt and Rock find that many marines who were gay? Did they put an ad in Stars and Stripes’ personals: “Famous movie stars would like to meet large numbers of open-minded marines for weekend frolic at exclusive L.A. mansion…”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ever so relieved that at a time when our culture was extremely vulnerable to communist influence, those staunch allies of freedom and liberty at the FBI were standing firm, devoted to their cause and standing resolutely on guard against the perils of godless atheism and socialism!

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That Darned Subversive Cat

Remember all the stuff you heard about democracy and freedom and so on when you were kid? And how the Russians were supposed to be so evil because their government spied on their own people and arrested and imprisoned them just for daring to criticize Communism? And how the United States and Canada were so great, because here we were free to vote for whoever we wanted and think whatever we wanted?

Well, let’s keep things in perspective. What follows is not meant to suggest that the West was as bad as Russia was then (and China is today). It’s just meant to balance out a fairly idiotic image of who and what we were during the cold war. The truth is, our own governments were spying on us, and arresting people who spoke out in dissent and attempting to control the free flow of information, just like the commies did.

Actually, none of this is news. We already know about McCarthyism and the excesses of J. Edgar Hoover. I merely want to add a little tidbit here to help put the extent of government control into perspective.

It seems that in 1965 Walt Disney wanted to make a movie based on a book by former FBI agent Gordon Gordon and his wife, Mildred, about a cat who belongs to a kidnap victim. When the cat turns up one night wearing the victim’s wrist watch, the FBI puts the cat under surveillance. Hayley Mills, Dean Jones, and Frank Gorshin starred. Hilarious concept!

Anyway, the FBI heard about this movie, and, when informed about it, J. Edgar Hoover immediately turned to his faithful sidekick, Pedro De Loach, and told him, “Hey, it’s a free country. People can make movies about whatever they please.”

No, he did not.  As a matter of fact,  Mr. De Loach dispatched an FBI agent to investigate this movie to ensure that the Bureau’s “interests” were protected.  I’m not making this up.

Think about this. The FBI, using your hard-earned tax dollars, dispatches a highly-paid agent to Hollywood to investigate the possibility that a Disney movie about a cat might be dangerous to civil order and the justice system.

Did they have time? Well, Groucho Marx might have been retired by then, so I guess that freed up a few agents. Maybe Lucille Ball had let her communist party membership lapse. Perhaps Ring Lardner hadn’t ordered any explosives recently. Maybe Dalton Trumbo had started hanging out with Ronald Reagan. Who knows?

It is tempting to laugh at this bizarre episode and just shrug it off. When you were a kid and you recited the pledge of allegiance to the flag of America and the liberty for which it stands, did you think for a moment that your own government had it’s own little department of thought control?

Did you watch the television drama called “The FBI” on TV in the 1960’s? Did you know that the FBI virtually controlled the program? They could veto any line of dialogue, any shot, if they didn’t like it. And do you even have to think for a minute to realize that their first priority was not “accuracy”, as they claimed, but depicting the agency in a favourable light?

Ever see that episode where the FBI tapped Martin Luther King’s phones? Yeah, me neither. Or where they collected information about President Kennedy’s mistresses?

Even today, with all the so-called sophistication we now have, TV is still inundated with police-approved TV shows that labour mightily to convince you that the police never make mistakes. I watched one episode of “REAL TV”, which showed tapes from a police helicopter chasing a “suspect”. What was the man suspected of? We never find out, for the only thing he is ever charged with is resisting arrest– a chilling echo of Soviet Russia’s “enemy of the state”. All during the chase, the voice-over narration laboured to assure us that these reckless and insane pursuits were necessary because the felon might very well have done something unspeakably evil, if the police had not damaged five cruisers chasing him at speeds of 100 mph through populated suburbs and snarled highways.

Is there a single TV police show that does not show police officers assaulting suspects and violating their civil rights with approval. The program is careful to let you “know” the one thing that, in real life, the police almost never know with any degree of certainty: that the suspect is guilty.

Back to the FBI: I’m sure if you asked the FBI today, their official spokesman would chuckle and say something like, “Oh, well, yes, J. Edgar did get a little carried away back in the 1960’s, but I can assure you that the FBI today is too busy tracking down militant survivalists and murderers to waste time on Hollywood movies.”

Like the Branch Davidians, in Waco, Texas?

To see a copy of the FBI report on “That Darn Cat”:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/darncat1.html