I had not, until now, formed a strong opinion on the issue of spanking, though I had decided for myself, for quite some time, that if I had to raise my children over again, I wouldn’t do it.
I did think that parents could make a reasonable case for a legal right to spank their own children. Who is the government to interfere in family life to the extent of telling parents how to discipline? As long as the parents aren’t too rough, and as long as they really do love their children, I figured, why shouldn’t they have the right?
But it has always seemed odd to me that you can’t hit a 250 lb. adult male with any force whatsoever without risking the possibility of being charged with assault, but you can hit an 11-year-old girl, or a four-year-old, or a seven-year-old, with impunity. The courts have spoken. Linebackers need the protection of legislation. Children– well, we better let people hit them occasionally because it might be good for them.
Those children will now never threaten to sick their lawyers on you.
It does seem odd. And never odder than when I gazed upon the photo of Victoria Whaley, standing in front of Canada’s Supreme Court building with her mother and father. Victoria is now 13. She was there with her parents to support the existing legislation, which gives parents and teachers the right to use “reasonable” force when disciplining children. This cute blonde was saying, I want you to have the right to spank me. And Focus on the Family and other “Christian” organizations were there to say the same thing: spanking is good.
spanking_cu.jpg (176691 bytes)
Now, something is wrong here. Focus on the Family likes to sell themselves– which, in my view, is pretty well what they do–sell– as an organization that promotes wholesome, traditional, family values.
Like spanking.
I have often wanted to ask Focus on the Family some specific questions about spanking. How hard is “reasonable”? Bare bum or no bare bum? Should fathers be allowed to spank girls, and mothers to spank boys? Wouldn’t that lead to temptations? Over knees, or standing, or laying down? Should step-fathers and step-mothers be allowed to spank? How about uncles? Is there a reasonable level of frequency? Once a day? Ten times a day? At which point should parents stop spanking and reach for the Ritalin?
I mean, for heaven’s sake, if you are going to endorse spanking but you want to reduce the risk of child abuse, you will have to be specific for most people and give some directions, including diagrams.
The trouble is, there isn’t a single child-abuser in the world who could be trusted to know what is “reasonable”. But they all know, now, that the government approves of some form of physical punishment of children. The government says you can do to children what you are never, ever permitted to do to an un-consenting adult.
That’s strange. It’s disturbing.
I would bet that many politicians know that there is something wrong with this law but can’t do anything about it because they have to get re-elected.
Copyright © 2004 Bill Van Dyk All rights reserved.
Doesn’t the girl in the picture look a little like Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch? Did Robert Reed, Dad Brady on the most traditional TV show of it’s era, spank?
Slate Article on Canadian Spankers
Is Sweden a hotbed of lawlessness? They must be. Spanking is illegal in Sweden. If you believe Focus on the Family and other conservative Christian organizations and churches, the only way to teach children that there are consequences for bad behavior is to beat their little behinds. Obviously, a country that bans spanking must, therefore, be full of criminals.
Focus on the Family provides a tantalizing “how-to” on spanking.
Added 2006-07 [Awwww. They took it down. Why, I wonder. Why?]
I couldn’t find the answer to my question about bare bum or not anywhere on that page. If you have better luck than me, let me know. It is rather striking that the subject is not even addressed, even though, obviously, it is a central issue in terms of technique.
Equally obvious is the fact that it could create some serious problems for Dobson if he thought it was okay to spank bare bums. Why not, then, just say no?
You tell me.