You would think a big-time Hollywood actor would have a better understanding of PR than Tom Cruise.
Cruise appeared on the Oprah show a few weeks ago with Katie Holmes. He looked absolutely demented as he jumped around the stage proclaiming how hetero-sexual he was, and how Katie Holmes was just the girl for him, and how happy he was that she was hanging out with him, and how hot she was, and so on. I was just waiting for a band to kick in with “I’m Into Something Good”.
It was a truly weird moment in the history of nothing. Nothing. What else are we talking about here? An irrelevant talk-show hostess interviewing an irrelevant actor. Nothing.
If Cruise really wants to convince people that he is not gay, what he really needs is to get Katie married to someone else– say, John Travolta– and then be caught by a tabloid photographer leaving a motel room with Katie, trying to hide his face. Even better– he should attack the photographer and try to seize his camera. Then he should launch a lawsuit against any magazine that prints the pictures.
Alternatively, he could persuade a female former assistant or trainer or something to file a multi-million dollar lawsuit against him for sexual harassment. Then he could go on tv and firmly deny that he ever harassed this… this…. woman.
Then he could hire an escort service to call a tabloid and report that Tom Cruise was one of their favorite customers. Cruise could immediately call a press conference and deny it, repeatedly, insistently.
After a year or so, the woman can quietly drop the lawsuit, Tom pays her off, and everybody’s happy.
Learn from Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant was caught in 1995 attempting to solicit oral sex from a prostitute named Divine Brown on Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. He went on to become the hottest male film actor in the world, in films like “Four Weddings and a Funeral”, “Love Actually”, and “Brigit Jones”. Why? Because nobody thinks he’s gay anymore. Why would anyone have thought he was gay in the first place? For heaven’s sake– he’s an actor.
What if he had appeared on Oprah instead and announced to the world how much in love he was with his girlfriend, Elizabeth Hurley? Love her, love her, love her! I really do! I love her lots. I love this WOMAN.
Come on. Admit it– you’d have started wondering if he was gay.
You’re welcome!