The Telephone Shoe

If Microsoft had invented the telephone, we would now have telephone-shoes and telephone-lamps and telephone-doors and telephone-clocks and telephone-pants and telephone-chairs and so on, because the telephone allows you to “collaborate and share information” and every technology will fail to promote collaboration and information-sharing because the problem is not the technology but the employee; but every employer believes that a new form of an existing technology will work better even if the old one didn’t really fail.

That is why we have Sharepoint and Onedrive and Outlook and Teams and Facebook and Twitter and Yammer and Skype and Messenger and so on and so on and so on. They’re like diet plans. The reason people keep buying the next one is precisely because the old one did not work.  It didn’t magically eliminate the bad habits that really caused the problems.

Not one of these applications really provides any real communications functionality that did not exist 20 years ago in Eudora. They just provide more fonts and… emojis. And they facilitate Microsoft taking over the management of your company’s information systems so that you will have to pay them forever in order to continue to access your company’s data because you will not even know where your files actually reside.

They are on Azure. They are in the cloud. The cloud is a Microsoft server you can only reach with a Microsoft application which will be licensed, not purchased.

And if you read this far, you have too much time on your hands.