Charlton Heston’s Naked Butt

I was watching “Planet of the Apes” on PBS the other night and there was that famous shot of Charlton Heston being presented to the ape officials for disposal, naked, from behind.

I have seen this movie at least three times, on television. I have never before seen Charlton Heston’s naked buttocks blurred out. But here it was, on PBS, the “enlightened” network, blurred out, just like Stewy’s naked butt on “Family Guy”.

What the hell? Has PBS joined the hoards of frigid hysterical puritans who have decided that the moral life of the nation is threatened by the back view of a man’s naked buttocks? In a country that enjoys dismemberment, explosions, bikinis, gratuitous sex and violence, and Fox News? Spare us.

PBS’ Soundstage

When I was in college back in the 1970’s, the only decent music program on TV was Soundstage (earlier known as “Made in Chicago”), which presented relatively current, relatively serious artists like Harry Chapin, Arlo Guthrie, Gordon Lightfoot, and Emmy-Lou Harris, in a one-hour format, no commercial breaks, no light shows, no lip-synching.

Okay– so they also presented– geez!– Burt Bacharach and the Bee Gees. It absolutely blows my mind that the same minds that would put together a program like this for Emmy-Lou Harris would think it was a great idea to give the Bee Gees an hour of rapt attention. The Bee Gees were worse than mediocre. They were aggressively mediocre. Their mediocrity pounded you on the face and stuck it’s waxy fingers into your ears and wobbled your head from side-to-side to scream at you that there is not a single interesting thing musically or intellectually in any of this noise you are hearing.

But then again, in 1976 Lightfoot appeared on Hee-Haw to lip-synch “Sundown”.

Anyway, two or three of my favorite shows are on PBS: the News Hour which is about the only television news program that I watch without getting nauseous nowadays (I know I’m mean but even Peter Mansbridge looks and sounds like a pharmaceutical salesman– think about it– doesn’t he always seem about to ask, “and how often should the patient take this dosage, Mary?”) and “Frontline” (documentaries) and “Inside Washington”. And “Nova” can be pretty cool thought it can also get annoyingly breathless at times. And cheesy.

But mostly, when they need money, they present John Sebastian presenting endlessly recycled clips of “Do You Believe in Magic” or the Mamas and the Papas singing “California Dreaming” on Hullabaloo, in bathtubs, or Peter, Paul, and Mary doing their farewell concert to end all farewell concerts at Carnegie Hall. Over and over and over again. And over and over and over again. And over and over and over and over again. I don’t think they have done pledge week once in the last 20 years without showing Peter, Paul & Mary singing “Lemon Tree” or Pete Seeger doing “Turn, Turn, Turn” and John Sebastian strumming his autoharp and creeping me out with that harmless, aimless expression, grinning and looking folksy and trying to make you believe that the 1960’s was a happy place of delightful experimentation and joyful frolics in psychedelic meadows of unicorns and marshmallows.


When it’s not John Sebastian and the 1960’s, it’s Victor Borge, Perry Como, or Harry Belafonte. Who runs this network?

It doesn’t make sense to me. The average age of the PBS viewer must surely be sliding ever closer to the grave– they will, sooner or later, require younger viewers to survive the next round of Republican attacks. To attract younger viewers, they have to start bringing in musical artists like Leslie Feist, Arcade Fire, Royal Wood, Bon Ivor, Conor Orbest, Wilco, please, anybody from the last ten or fifteen years!

I am never not astounded that Lawrence Welk is actually still shown on TV, on Sunday, PBS.  Really?  Seriously?  Who is running this network?

Brandon Darby

The narrative: 8 dangerous anarchists from Austin, Texas travel to Minneapolis in August 2008 intending to sew chaos, destruction, and mayhem during the Republican National Convention. Thank God a trusted, patriotic FBI informant was among the radicals to help the police and FBI intervene in the nick of time, saving property and lives, and preserving the safety and security of Sarah Palin.

It’s a simple, comprehensible narrative. And American justice is about narratives, not facts, not truth. The narrative is compelling to frightened American juries and judges. You can’t be too careful. The two boys, who did not commit a crime– at least nothing that was defined as a crime before 9/11– were convicted, locked up for two and four years.

The truth is more complex. Yes, the boys assembled some Molotov cocktails at the house they stayed in in Minneapolis during the Republic National Convention in 2008. But they never used them. It’s not clear that they ever had any serious intent of using them. In a rational world, they never broke the law. They no more broke the law with their assembled bombs than any member of the NRA broke the law by carrying a concealed handgun. Is a concealed handgun alarming? Only to a rational person.

But what role did FBI informant Brandon Darby play in all this? Would they have ever even build the Molotov Cocktails if he hadn’t organized the trip to Minneapolis in the first place. Did he hector them, tirelessly trying to persuade them that the depths of depravity they saw in Minneapolis– and it was depraved (police phalanx, tear gas, batons)– called for something stronger than a protest sign.

PBS– the only U.S. network that does any serious journalism anymore– aired a documentary recently– “Better This World”– that offered a compelling glimpse of the dynamics of homeland insecurity, paranoia, manipulation, and the use of informants by the FBI. Brad Crowder and David McKay come off as youthful, passionate, and naïve.

Brandon Darby, the informant, is cynical, manipulative, and dishonest. The results are appalling.

 

The Muslim Brotherhood: Egypt’s Revolution

Perhaps the most disturbing report I have seen on the Egyptian Revolution was also the least inflammatory, the least categorical, the least certain of what was happening.

Frontline (PBS) documents the low-key role played in the revolution by the youth wing of the Muslim Brotherhood. While the elders were clearly out of touch about what was happening, the younger leaders were not. Very savvy about technology and the media, the Frontline documentary revealed how the youth leaders carefully toned down any overt expressions of the faith in favor of generic, pro-democracy statements and ground-roots support for the secularist demonstrators. A number of well-informed reporters and human rights analysts thoughtfully dissected their role and wondered aloud just what their goals really were. They pointed out how the Muslim Brotherhood organized clinics and food distribution points and were the first and most courageous about confronting the pro-Mubarak thugs that tried to invade Tahrir Square at the height of tension.

Towards the end of the program, both the youth leader, Mohammed Abbas, and an elder, make more explicit their desire for an Islamic society.

This is not to suggest that the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt will attempt to seize control of the country and build an Islamic state as in Iran. It’s not to suggest they are suddenly pluralists who want to share their message of spiritual enlightenment on Facebook and Twitter.

Frontline is unparalleled in its ability and willingness to suggest that the situation is complex and the outcome, at this point, is unknown.

And where does the U.S. government want to cut spending? The Corporation for Public Broadcasting. If they do and if these cuts prevent Frontline from continuing to produce documentaries like this, it will be as a great a crime as any committed by the Republicans since the days of Tail-Gunner Joe.

Iraq: The Return on Investment

The United States is pouring billions of dollars into Iraq. It has decided that of all the things in the world it could spend billions of dollars on, it will spend these billions on making life better for the average Iraqi, by removing an evil dictator and turning their country into a thriving capitalist democracy.

The result of all this, as reporters have long noticed: the average Iraqi hates America. When U.S. soldiers drive down the streets on patrol, they are greeted with fearful faces. When the Americans react to a bomb attack by shooting everyone on the street, including a just married 16-year-old, an infant, and an old man, and then declares that they behaved exactly as they were trained and would do it again…. The average Iraqi, if he was in a generous mood, could be excused for thinking to himself, “well, they’re not very good at this are they?”

Never was less achieved with more money. Really– I can’t think of anything that cost more but achieved less. The closest second I can think of is the former Shah of Iran’s coronation party, which helped lay the foundation for the overthrow of the Shah, the taking of American hostages, the revolutionary government in Tehran, war between Iran and Iraq, U.S. assistance to Iraq (yes, to Saddam Hussein), the invasion of Kuwait, and so on and so on. Now: here we are.

The average 10-year-old could do better with this money than George Bush did. The average 10-year-old, given billions of dollars, would buy everyone in Iraq a flat-panel TV screen and a Play-station. And everyone in Iraq would love America. They’d all be watching American Idol. They would, like American Christians, pay outward respect to their religion, bow and pray and mumble the sacred verses, and then get back to the Mario Brothers as quickly as possible.

We took away their government and police forces and started a civil war between two different religious groups which, under Saddam Hussein, had been getting along fairly well.  (Even Christians were tolerated under Saddam.)  We smacked the hornet’s nest and can’t control anything. We’ve installed a government that is quietly complicit with Shiite death squads and can’t wait for us to leave so they can finish the job properly.

Yet Richard Perle stumbles along in a bizarre documentary shown on PBS the other night insisting that all is well. Didn’t you know it would take ten, twenty years to stabilize Iraq? Oh– sorry, we forgot to tell you. Actually, there was no need to tell you– it is necessary for the survival of America that certain leaders who understand the true nature of the world occasionally need to exercise leadership in undemocratic fashion, in order to preserve our incredibly precious freedoms and liberties.

John McCain, George Bush, Condoleeza Rice– all still on board. Rudolph Giuliani? Invading Iraq was a great idea! It was so great, I’d do it again.

In an sane world, I would add here: I am not making this up.


The Americans are building the biggest embassy in the history of the entire world in Baghdad. Yes it is. This is something the government of Iraq badly wants: a great big hulking U.S. embassy in the middle of Baghdad, full of all kinds of rooms and offices and who knows what, just waiting to offer friendly assistance to any weary American traveler who might have lost his visa or immunization records.

This investment is a little bizarre. Iraq is free, in theory, to elect any government it wants. One would think that a rational person might conclude– especially given the poor performance of the American military in pacifying Iraq– that the chances of the population of Iraq electing a pro-American government are at best 50-50. What if the next democratically, freely elected government of Iraq decides it doesn’t want a big role for the U.S. in it’s affairs, and doesn’t want this hulking embassy sitting there…


What the heck is going on with PBS? Who is in control there? Why are they showing these absolutely bizarre fake documentaries on Richard Perle? Why, in heaven’s name, are they censoring words like “shit” out of movies like “All the President’s Men”? God help us– the inquisitors seem to be in charge!

[2022-05: probably explanation:  PBS, constantly under criticism by Republicans and conservatives, wished to make a gesture of non-partisanship by running a flattering documentary of a right wing Republican bureaucrat.]


They really should have put Karl Rove in charge of Iraq. He would have found a way to get the Shiites to overthrow Saddam, put the Sunni’s back in charge, then slaughter them all and blame it on the Kurds. Someone some where would have profited from this.

The Supposed Alleged Possible Canadian Terror Plot: Entrapment

And there it is, near the bottom, almost as an aside:

He was paid.
He was paid more than $300,000.

That’s near the bottom of the article linked to in the left column, which describes, with great earnestness, the authentic, real, god-awful truth about Islamic terrorists operating in Toronto: that they really mean it, that they are serious, that they are a real threat.

Frontline and the CBC, which collaborated on the report, have a lot of credibility. Unlike Fox, or even CBS or NBC or ABC, they tend to take a more measured and less sensationalistic approach to stories about terrorist cells operating in North America. (Though even CBS’s “60 Minutes” recently ran a rather odd piece on how terrorists are using the internet to train young jihadists.) But there it is, a long, detailed, well-researched program (and website), detailing how the 17 young men were seriously plotting to storm the Parliament buildings, take MPs hostage, and behead them one by one until Canada withdrew it’s armed forces from Afghanistan.

And then, way down the page, there is that one little, embarrassing detail: the informant, Mubin Shaikh, whose revelations to CSIS (the Canadian Security Service) led to the arrests, was paid more than $300,000 for the information.

When the trial is held, Mubin Shaikh will be the star witness. Undoubtedly, he will have to reveal the fact that he was a paid informant to the court. Then the court will have to decide whether $300,000 is an incentive to exaggerate or distort his information. They should also decide whether $300,000 is an incentive for someone to incite. They should also consider the question of “entrapment”.

The question is, would Mr. Shaikh have been paid if he had not provided the RCMP with suspects?

No, he would not.

It is possible that CSIS has additional proof. We won’t know until the trial, of course. It is possible that the additional proof wouldn’t mean much if it wasn’t put into “context” by $300,000 worth of testimony. It is possible, if not likely– I say it is likely– that the additional evidence CSIS will offer will have been produced as a result of the activities and encouragement of Mubin Shaikh.

The question that should be asked is, would these young men have committed a crime if they had never met Mubin Shaikh?

Perhaps you believe that the police are willing to pay large sums of money to informants if their information clears suspects of suspicion. Perhaps you live in Disneyland.

Mubin Shaikh was paid an initial $68,000 U.S. So, suppose he reported back to CSIS that nothing was up. No reason to be concerned. There’s a couple of hot-heads, but they are just shooting off their mouths. They are kids who, not unreasonably, are against the war on Iraq because they believe it is motivated by the U.S. desire to control oil supplies and support Zionism. They believe the U.S. invaded Iraq. Oh yeah… Well, they believe the U.S. lied about weapons of mass destruction so they could invade Iraq to steal its oil. Okay– it it illegal to believe that? It is if you are an Arab living in North America or Europe.

Do you suppose Shaikh had any reason to believe he would receive an additional $300,000 if he continued to report that there was no serious terrorist plot?

I suspect that among the 17 youths that were arrested, were a small number of relatively serious-minded extremists, who genuinely hated decadent western culture, and dreamed of seeking revenge for the perceived humiliation of the Moslem world at the hands of the Israelis and Americans. (Shaikh is not going to propose the ridiculous to CSIS.) But I suspect that for every ten youths like that, maybe one or two ever actually end up doing something. Of that number, a smaller percentage acquire the means and determination to actually do something effective.

I wonder if the infamous 3 tons of ammonia nitrate will turn out to have been Shaikh’s suggestion.

Apparently, the RCMP ended up “providing” the (fake) material.

Stunningly– I say– the RCMP provided them with fake ammonia nitrate, in order to provide evidence for the crime they allege.

There are several American cases that sound alarmingly similar: a paid informant infiltrates a local youth group, encourages the boys to talk “jihad”, then reports on their conversations to Homeland Security and they sweep them up. In most of those cases, there is no evidence that any of the suspects ever took any steps to actually commit any terrorist acts. In some cases, there was bravado and bragging and macho posturing. The victims of this scam are threatened with years in prison for very serious charges, but then agree to plead guilty to a relatively minor charge, and then the government holds a parade and awards medals to everyone.  The plea, the result of bullying, becomes the proof that there really was a threat.

The boys went up north and took training… from Mr. Shaikh. They used paintball guns and pellet guns and, Mr. Shaikh claims, some live ammunition.

Why does this all look so pathetic?

Why is it so offensive to me that reporter Linden McIntyre of the CBC seemed to spend an inordinate proportion of his report on Mr. Shaikh’s civic-mindedness, and his concern for the Moslem community, and his own spiritual journey from misspent youth to respected leader of the Moslem community in Toronto… before telling us about the $300,000?

Mr. McIntyre knows a good story and how to package it.  A real journalist is more skeptical than he is.

If Mr. Shaikh really was a man of integrity, why would he even have accepted the money, knowing, as he must have, that a reasonable person would question how much honesty $300,000 can buy?


Frontline (PBS) on the Canadian Terror Plot Informant

Imagine, if you will, an Arab power that “takes possession” of a number of American citizens, declares them enemy combatants, and locks them away in solitary confinement in a horrible prison somewhere.  Suppose the U.S. protests, and demands their release.  Suppose this Arab state says, “these men are terrorists”.  And then the U.S. says, they are not.  We can prove they are not.  And the Arab state says, you can make those arguments at the trials.  Right now, the world is too dangerous for us to release these men.  What if they invade our country after we release them?  And the U.S. says, okay, when are the trials?  And the Arab state says, never.

Imagine the outrage.  How dare they?


I wonder how many people just assume that the government would never do such a thing — buy evidence. They couldn’t get away with it, could they? They can and they do, on a surprisingly regular basis. Sometimes our judges slap them down for it, and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, like the rest of us, they seem to believe that a higher good is served by abridging the most precious rights we have in a democracy.

PBS’s Cabin Country

What the heck is PBS doing showing “Cabin Country”?

The show starts off with this cute graphic of a gun’s telescopic site aiming at various harmless animals. Words like “adventure” and “sportsmanship” glide across the screen.

Euphemism of the day: “over-gun”. Apparently, Americans tend to “over-gun”, which means that they like to hunt with huge powerful weapons that they can’t handle or aim correctly. “Big bore” Magnums, apparently.

“Bullet placement”. A weapon that is “comfortable for you”. What I love is the fashion sense. These men wear camouflage, right, so that animals can’t see them. But then they wear big orange vests over top so that other hunters won’t shoot them.

This show looked pretty authentic, so I started looking forward to seeing an animal get killed. Disappointment! They don’t show the manly hunters actually putting a bullet into the buck’s head. They show the hunter firing and then you see them talking about the excitement of the kill, and then they go to the buck and worship it for a while. Funny that they don’t stand there going, “geez, what a pathetic little weak buck. Look at him? Little feller, isn’t he? Not very scary looking at all. I mock you, wimpy buck!”

Oh no. They go, “look at him! He’s huge. Look at those magnificent antlers! What a babe!”

One of the hunters actually said, after killing another “nice” buck, “this’ll be a great story for the grandkids. I can’t wait to tell my daughter and all her friends…”

They deceive the bucks into approaching their lairs by rattling antlers together to make them think there is a fight going on. Then they shoot them. With guns. It’s bizarre. This makes the hunters feel manly and helps these sensitive men get “close to nature”.

Why don’t they at least have the honesty and decency to show the bullet going into the buck’s head? Come on—I want to see it. I want to know what we’re really dealing with here. What does it actually feel like to see a magnificent critter like that get his brains blasted out? What does it look like? Maybe I’m missing something. Or are they worried that the deer might not die quickly. Then the animal rights activists will jump out of the forest in their camouflage outfits with their orange vests and shout, “animal abuse!”

I am not, by the way, any kind of animal rights activist. I’m not even vegetarian. I just don’t like guns, and I don’t like the crappy attitude a lot of hunters have – that “culling” is necessary for ecological balance—and I don’t like that crap about how much they adore nature, before blowing it’s brains out. Let’s have it out plain and simple—tell us what you really feel:

“I like to kill”.