Iraq: The Return on Investment

The United States is pouring billions of dollars into Iraq. It has decided that of all the things in the world it could spend billions of dollars on, it will spend these billions on making life better for the average Iraqi, by removing an evil dictator and turning their country into a thriving capitalist democracy.

The result of all this, as reporters have long noticed: the average Iraqi hates America. When U.S. soldiers drive down the streets on patrol, they are greeted with fearful faces. When the Americans react to a bomb attack by shooting everyone on the street, including a just married 16-year-old, an infant, and an old man, and then declares that they behaved exactly as they were trained and would do it again…. The average Iraqi, if he was in a generous mood, could be excused for thinking to himself, “well, they’re not very good at this are they?”

Never was less achieved with more money. Really– I can’t think of anything that cost more but achieved less. The closest second I can think of is the former Shah of Iran’s coronation party, which helped lay the foundation for the overthrow of the Shah, the taking of American hostages, the revolutionary government in Tehran, war between Iran and Iraq, U.S. assistance to Iraq (yes, to Saddam Hussein), the invasion of Kuwait, and so on and so on. Now: here we are.

The average 10-year-old could do better with this money than George Bush did. The average 10-year-old, given billions of dollars, would buy everyone in Iraq a flat-panel TV screen and a Play-station. And everyone in Iraq would love America. They’d all be watching American Idol. They would, like American Christians, pay outward respect to their religion, bow and pray and mumble the sacred verses, and then get back to the Mario Brothers as quickly as possible.

We took away their government and police forces and started a civil war between two different religious groups which, under Saddam Hussein, had been getting along fairly well.  (Even Christians were tolerated under Saddam.)  We smacked the hornet’s nest and can’t control anything. We’ve installed a government that is quietly complicit with Shiite death squads and can’t wait for us to leave so they can finish the job properly.

Yet Richard Perle stumbles along in a bizarre documentary shown on PBS the other night insisting that all is well. Didn’t you know it would take ten, twenty years to stabilize Iraq? Oh– sorry, we forgot to tell you. Actually, there was no need to tell you– it is necessary for the survival of America that certain leaders who understand the true nature of the world occasionally need to exercise leadership in undemocratic fashion, in order to preserve our incredibly precious freedoms and liberties.

John McCain, George Bush, Condoleeza Rice– all still on board. Rudolph Giuliani? Invading Iraq was a great idea! It was so great, I’d do it again.

In an sane world, I would add here: I am not making this up.


The Americans are building the biggest embassy in the history of the entire world in Baghdad. Yes it is. This is something the government of Iraq badly wants: a great big hulking U.S. embassy in the middle of Baghdad, full of all kinds of rooms and offices and who knows what, just waiting to offer friendly assistance to any weary American traveler who might have lost his visa or immunization records.

This investment is a little bizarre. Iraq is free, in theory, to elect any government it wants. One would think that a rational person might conclude– especially given the poor performance of the American military in pacifying Iraq– that the chances of the population of Iraq electing a pro-American government are at best 50-50. What if the next democratically, freely elected government of Iraq decides it doesn’t want a big role for the U.S. in it’s affairs, and doesn’t want this hulking embassy sitting there…


What the heck is going on with PBS? Who is in control there? Why are they showing these absolutely bizarre fake documentaries on Richard Perle? Why, in heaven’s name, are they censoring words like “shit” out of movies like “All the President’s Men”? God help us– the inquisitors seem to be in charge!

[2022-05: probably explanation:  PBS, constantly under criticism by Republicans and conservatives, wished to make a gesture of non-partisanship by running a flattering documentary of a right wing Republican bureaucrat.]


They really should have put Karl Rove in charge of Iraq. He would have found a way to get the Shiites to overthrow Saddam, put the Sunni’s back in charge, then slaughter them all and blame it on the Kurds. Someone some where would have profited from this.

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