Battery Nannies

For all the miraculous products computer technology has given us, the manufacturers have yet to overcome an extremely annoying problem: batteries die.  So, in order to keep your battery from dying too soon– and, presumably annoying you– almost every device gives you about three seconds to do something– annoying you–  and then goes away and blanks the screen.

It’s as if you are being followed by a battery-nanny.  Everything you pick up, everything you look at, everything you start to read, has a very short expiry time, before the nazi-nanny grabs it away from you and puts it back.  Then you have to go fetch it again.  Then you want to look at something else.  Then the first thing you looked at is gone.

Just now, I turned on my lap top to see if I can configure a sequencer to work with my keyboard.  I know that if I sit here typing for too long, the nazi-nanny will rush up to it and snatch it away: you didn’t use it soon enough.  Your time is up.  You don’t get to just sit there and think about what you’re going to do.  Gone.  The screen is blank.

Is it in coma-mode or just resting?  You never know, really.  I have experimented with doing what they do in the movies (and always works in the movies): just close the lid in the middle of my work and go away and then come back later and open the lid and…. most of the time, it is completely shut down.  When it comes back up, will my work still be on the screen, or is it going to reboot from scratch?  Will it even come up?

I think this is a source of monumental annoyance in our world.  We are constantly under pressure to finish reading that summary of the message that appeared on our smart phone before the screen goes blank.  Or log in.  But after a few minutes logged in, it reverts to the blank screen and you have to log in again.  This makes me feel like I’m perpetually in a rush, at the perverse pleasure of my devices.

The sad truth about all of these devices is worse.  I hear that stupid little tinkle telling me I have a new message: 99% of them are from Pinterest, or New York Review of Books, or Quora Digest,  or Mirvish/TicketKing, or Twitter.  Scores pop up from ball games– I never asked for that.

[whohit]Battery Nannies[/whohit]