Since the impending war on Iraq is really about one thing only, I propose that the U.S. armed services create a whole new series of medals to be awarded to soldiers who display conspicuous courage, determination, and consumption while battling the forces of Armageddon in Baghdad.
But first of all, why should the tax-payer get stuck with paying for these priceless trinkets? Let’s allow the people we’re really fighting for to put up the incentives: Exxon, Texaco, Mobil, and Amoco.
The Copper Gas Can – replica of a gas can in brass, for meritorious service above and beyond the call of duty.
The Victoria Pump – a little gas pump, to the soldier who displays resourcefulness and integrity under pressure.
The Silver Carburetor: for extreme diligence under threat of reduced consumption of material goods and trinkets.
The Golden SUV – the highest possible award, for extreme courage under fire and extensive media coverage while battling the forces of global conservation and oil supply.
Why is Britain, which has ratified the Kyoto protocol, along with the rest of the EU, and which is lobbying Canada to ratify it, not doing the same in the U.S.? Considering Blair’s support for the war on whoever it is out there that hates us because we’re free and not because we support Israel or overthrow unfriendly governments and install toadies, you would think he would bring it up a time or two in those intimate phone conversations with George Bush Jr., while they’re going over the latest intelligence reports showing that Osama and Saddam were spotted drinking together at a trendy Baghdad hot spot earlier this year. Enquiring minds want to know.
`I think the free world must realize that no one is safe — that if you embrace freedom, you’re not free from terrorism,” Bush said October 14, 2002.
So that’s what the terrorists hate about America — freedom.
If this were true, I rather think the citizens of Denmark might start feeling threatened about now too.